JD and I made a trip to Lowe’s not long ago. He wanted to find a replacement for my palm he bought last year. It didn’t fair well in this weather and he wanted to get me something else. To be honest with you, I could have cared less, because that was the last thing on my mind at the time. I wasn’t stuttin’ a plant. So, I kept my mouth shut and let him enjoy himself.
We looked around until he was satisfied he’d found what he was looking for. He ended up getting one from the clearance rack (Don’t ask me what it was) and was explaining how the plant would look after some TLC. I didn’t see what the big deal was about the plant, but since he knows what he’s talking about, I just acknowledged his statement. Then, I reminded him he’d be the one taking care of it, so whatever.
Even though he’s the one with the green thumb, I was looking at plants too; on the low. I don’t know enough about them to be able to know how to care for them. I’m more of an ask Mr. Google client. He’ll let me know what’s up. I can’t say I don’t have a green thumb, because I’ve never had plants of my own. I’ve been responsible for watering my mother’s and grandma’s plants before, but I’ve never had any of my own to care for.
As I was looking on the clearance rack, I found one for myself. The phalaenopsis orchid. I wanted it immediately. I’ve always been fond of orchids and their colors, this one in particular because it’s purple; my favorite color. I quickly scooped it up. JD asked me if I was going to get it. I thought about the commitment that comes along with houseplants and whether I was up for the challenge of taking care of it. I made the decision that I’d take care of it, so we ended up getting it. When I got home, we both got to work taking care of our plants; repotting and watering. I read the tag for care instructions on mine and even scanned the tag with my phone using Microsoft Tag to get further details about caring and maintenance instructions. I’ve been keeping an eye on it and tending to it ever since.
I need to fertilize it and change it to another pot soon, so I’ll see about doing that this weekend. It’s coming along quite nicely. While this is an easy plant to care for, there is work involved to keep it healthy and growing. For those of you who know a thing or two about plants, you know what I’m talking about. Even if you have no clue about plants, if you know a thing or two about relationships, it’s the same work and commitment involved.
You have to put energy into a relationship to make it work. Everyone has their own ideas and opinions about how relationships should work, but growing up, we are rarely taught how to be in healthy relationships. Some of you may have had parents that warned you about fast boys, about not being a fast tail girl and don’t grow up too fast, but we’ve often gotten mixed signals about exactly what to do in relationships. We’re given advice, which sometimes isn’t the right advice, but no one gives us instructions on how to be in healthy relationships. We eventually end up learning that on our own.
We learn that in relationships, you have two people from two sets of families that may have some of the same beliefs, but different foundations. Each will have their own issues and knowledge based on what they were taught growing up, but if you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to make those differences work for both of you.
Folks, loving someone should be easy, but to maintain a good, healthy relationship you have to put in the work, because it’s not going to always be easy. You have to make up your mind that you’re going to overcome your issues and crap you have going on with you so that you can come together with another person and live a life that makes that person better by being with you. You have to learn to be selfless. That’s what a working relationship is all about; being selfless. If you haven’t gotten what you want yet and you’re at your wits end, maybe you should try something different from what you’ve been doing.